Seems like we’re due for another blog post, considering I haven’t written one in 500 years.  After work, all I feel like doing is hanging out on the couch in plaid sweatpants.  On the weekends, I’m tied up thinking of obscure worldbuilding details for my alternate history fantasy novel (like the boardgame titles), narrating my dog’s internal monologue, and doing a spot of laundry.

This website turned a year old several weeks ago, and I was rude enough not to mark the occasion in any way.  Not even a present.  At least I remembered to renew the domain registration, right??

Like most bloggers, I’ve been looking for ways to increase site traffic.  So, I’ve been having some fun data analyzing times (yes, I am a nerd) with my site stats.  Once you take out page views from friends and family and a smattering of site visits from around the globe, I get consistent hits from Canada.  Clearly, they are from the same dedicated reader (How do I know this?  I just do!!  You ask too many questions.).  Canada (as I affectionately think of this reader), has read every page on my site.  And Canada has the good grace not to mind that I don’t use the Queen’s English.  One knows how it offends the senses to see the spelling center instead of centre.

Back in the spring, I researched getting my website to come up higher in web searches (this site is beat out by a Twitter profile for a different CJ Moran with only two followers).  Improving your website’s search engine ranking is referred to as Search Engine Optimization (translated into business-speak, that’s SEO).  There are loads of online resources dedicated to SEO.  They are dreadfully boring.

First bit of advice: post something on your website at least twice a week.  Posting so much is a challenge; my dog has many thoughts to narrate.  I spend hours writing and editing each post, not counting all the time spent thinking random thoughts until they congeal into a topic idea.  To win the content posting battle, you’ve got to make the blog your job (mine wouldn’t pay well) or post fluffy garbage (may be hazardous to your brain).

Suddenly it clicked.  This explained the “Ten reasons why… (Blah, blah, it doesn’t really matter)” articles.  The list may be split into ten reasons, but you know that five of them are going to be the same, slightly rephrased.  Tomorrow they’re posting another listicle that’s juuuuust a little different.  Listicles are a cheap way to churn out content and make a few short points seem like more than they are.  They need you to click on the link.  They don’t care if you read the whole article.

Another element of SEO is picking the right keywords.  SEO articles extort the humble web admin to fill their posts with “all the words your audience wants to read” (whatever that means).  Find the keywords!  Know the keywords!  Be the keywords!  Conspicuously absent from these articles on SEO is optimizing the content of your web posts.

Months ago, I came across a web article that began with a bullet point list of SEO keywords—just hanging out after the title.  None of the words were incorporated into the text.  That’s some kind of moxie!  Trick readers into coming for the keywords, make them stay for the possibly unrelated text.

Most of these SEO articles are geared toward commercial websites.  Say you manufacture and sell semiconductors.  Your website might need to reference resistivity, thickness, and grade to get hits.  But, you manufacture semiconductors, so you already know what words your potential customers need to read.  What about random bloggers (such as myself)?  What does the average denizen of the internet want to read?  Over-analysis of books and TV shows?  No?

What happens to society when we only write about what we think others want to read?

Here I am, being a grump.  Marketing is important and I shouldn’t knock it.  Being on the internet is basically like being in a park.  Except the world’s entire online population is there.  And everyone is screaming for you to look at their stuff.  There is simply too much content for audiences to read, and the only way for them to find the random blogger is through savvy and persistent self-marketing.  Those SEO article-writer-people have our backs, if we are willing to take their advice.

For the time, writing multiple posts per week isn’t possible (my dog’s internal monologue doesn’t narrate itself).  However, dear Canada, if you can forgive the long gaps between posts and the horribly uncultured English—I would write just for you.  This place could be our secret.

But maybe I could pull off a little something SEO, when it comes to keywords.  Listing them out in bullet point fashion doesn’t sound so bad.

SEO keywords:

  • Porodinous
  • Gnu
  • Whinging
  • Butyl hydroxy toluene
  • Somnolent